Maybe you thought you needed a couples therapist and a sex therapist but they can now be one and the same. This article helps couples understand your different Physical Intimacy Attachment styles and how this can lead to cycles:
Divorce vs. EFT Therapy
EFT Can be a Valuable Investment
A complete therapy process can be expensive, but divorce is far more costly, both emotionally, financially and in other ways. Divorce could cost you ten times as much as therapy–maybe more–and could uproot you, your spouse, and your children. If there’s even a small chance your relationship could survive whatever is currently impacting it, isn’t it worth it to make to learn more about how your relationship can change and improve?
EFT Couples Therapy and Why it Works!
After over 25 years of providing several different forms of couple therapy, there is clearly one that stands above the rest, with both the empirical research and results to prove it. Emotionally Focused Therapy stands head and shoulders above Cognitive behavioral Therapy (CBT) in outcome studies and in my own experience working with couples. In the past, I provided CBT for several years with couples and individuals, but once I delved into EFT and became a Certified EFT Therapist, I knew which one worked for me and the couples I work with. There is a great deal of research to show that EFT works and works exceptionally well, with a 70-90% success rate!
EFT can change your relationship for the better. Fully 70-90% of distressed couples who complete EFT experience significant improvement in their relationship. Almost three-fourths can be classified as “recovered” by the end of treatment, having made gains so significant they no longer qualify as distressed.
EFT works even where other treatments fail
EFT has been shown to work well with couples in all social strata, couples with little formal education, and couples where the husband or withdrawn partner is rated by the wife or expressive partner, as “inexpressive” These three groups are historically the groups that don’t do well in other forms of couples therapy. If you think that your relationship (or your spouse) isn’t fit for traditional therapy, EFT may be just what you’re looking for.
EFT brings about Lasting change
Unlike in other forms of couples therapy where the positive effects of therapy begin to drop off almost immediately at the end of treatment, couples who fully complete the 3 stages and 9 steps of EFT maintain their gains–and even continue to improve on them–over the next 24 months ad beyond, without any additional treatment.
EFT can be challenged by some of the following:
If there is ongoing violence or partner aggression in your relationship, or if one partner is absolutely unwilling to even attempt emotional reconnection, EFT may take longer and in some cases may not be effective. No therapy works for everyone, but EFT is among the most effective available especially combined with a strong commitment to the process.
ways to ensure eft is effective
Attend therapy weekly. Read ‘Hold Me Tight’ or ‘Created for Connection’ and or do the ‘Two of Us’ workbook together. Explore substance issues and better understand how they are getting in the way of your recovery and your connection. Complete your homework in order to facilitate an understanding of the cycles that take down the relationship and create disconnection in order to create something better.
For more information on the scientific research supporting EFT, including sources for all of the statistics cited above, please visit the EFT supportive research menu.
Addiction and Attachment
What we thought we knew about addiction is not quite right as evidenced by the research indicated in this amazing video by Johann Hari, as he shares how imperative attachment is for recovery.
Here is another informative, yet brief video entitled ‘Rat Park’ to help you better understand the power of connection when it comes to recovery from addiction and what drives that.
Give a listen to Sam Tieleman’s presentation on Sexual Intimacy as it relates to addiction, in this case drinking, with a live couple who was willing to share their process to better understand what a couple therapy session sounds utilizing EFT.
Looking at attachment as it relates to addiction is a revolutionary concept that changes the way we see and treat addiction. On this link JimThomas, LMFT from Colorado shares his expertise regarding shame and recovery as it relates to healing from substances. If you want only his presentation, start at minute 14.
In this The Couch PodCast with Michael Barnett LCP from Atlanta, Michael shares his experience working with couples struggling with addiction by utilizing the power of Emotionally Focused Therapy compared to other forms of therapy in order to better help partners heal from substance issues.