Many of us know about the 12 Step Approach using ‘HALT’ to slow us down, but now it is being effectively applied to relationships with our loved ones, as Psychologist Carol Vogt notes in her article here. Basically, the concept is designed to help each other in the event you or your partner or child ever becomes H-hungry, A-angry, L-lonely or T-tired because it is during these times, that we are not at our best and we are more likely to exacerbate a negative cycles we may be caught in, or to create a negative cycle, and thereby create disconnection.
So, I realized there are a few more that are worth noting to add to the HALT concept. You may want to say ‘HALT’ and send out an ‘SOS’ to your partner when you become S-sick, O-overwhelmed and S-stressed because those are times when negative cycles can really ramp up as well. Try to help each other by saying SOS and HALT when you find yourself in a rough place and you can spare your relationship from having cycle flare ups together. The linked article above can help you learn more and thereby help each other stay better connected.
If you aren’t sure what I am referring to when I mention the word ‘cycle’ as it relates to your relationship, you can learn more about couples negative interaction cycles in Sue Johnson’t book ‘Hold Me Tight’ under ‘Demond Dialogues’ listed on my ‘Recommended Reading’ page under the menu ‘Couples Therapy’ of this website. Or contact me for couples therapy/marriage counsel to start the process of taming those negative interactional cycles with me and EFT.