Tag: Cost of Divorce

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Divorce vs. EFT Therapy

EFT Can be a Valuable Investment

A complete therapy process can be expensive, but divorce is far more costly, both emotionally, financially and in other ways. Divorce could cost you ten times as much as therapy–maybe more–and could uproot you, your spouse, and your children. If there’s even a small chance your relationship could survive whatever is currently impacting it, isn’t it worth it to make to learn more about how your relationship can change and improve?

EFT Couples Therapy and Why it Works!

After over 25 years of providing several different forms of couple therapy, there is clearly one that stands above the rest, with both the empirical research and results to prove it.  Emotionally Focused Therapy stands head and shoulders above Cognitive behavioral Therapy (CBT) in outcome studies and in my own experience working with couples. In the past, I provided CBT for several years with couples and individuals, but once I delved into EFT and became a Certified EFT Therapist, I knew which one worked for me and the couples I work with. There is a great deal of research to show that EFT works and works exceptionally well, with a 70-90% success rate!

EFT can change your relationship for the better.  Fully 70-90% of distressed couples who complete EFT experience significant improvement in their relationship. Almost three-fourths can be classified as “recovered” by the end of treatment, having made gains so significant they no longer qualify as distressed.

EFT works even where other treatments fail

EFT has been shown to work well with couples in all social strata, couples with little formal education, and couples where the husband or withdrawn partner is rated by the wife or expressive partner, as “inexpressive” These three groups are historically the groups that don’t do well in other forms of couples therapy. If you think that your relationship (or your spouse) isn’t fit for traditional therapy, EFT may be just what you’re looking for.

EFT brings about Lasting change

Unlike in other forms of couples therapy where the positive effects of therapy begin to drop off almost immediately at the end of treatment, couples who fully complete the 3 stages and 9 steps of EFT maintain their gains–and even continue to improve on them–over the next 24 months ad beyond, without any additional treatment.

EFT can be challenged by some of the following:

If there is ongoing violence or partner aggression in your relationship, or if one partner is absolutely unwilling to even attempt emotional reconnection, EFT may take longer and in some cases may not be effective. No therapy works for everyone, but EFT is among the most effective available especially combined with a strong commitment to the process.

ways to ensure eft is effective

Attend therapy weekly.  Read ‘Hold Me Tight’ or ‘Created for Connection’ and or do the ‘Two of Us’ workbook together.  Explore substance issues and better understand how they are getting in the way of your recovery and your connection. Complete your homework in order to facilitate an understanding of the cycles that take down the relationship and create disconnection in order to create something better.

For more information on the scientific research supporting EFT, including sources for all of the statistics cited above, please visit the EFT supportive research menu.

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The Costs of Divorce vs. the best Couple Therapy

Awhile back, you discussed couple therapy with your partner, but for whatever reason, it didn’t happen then.  Turns out most couples come to therapy a good 6 years later then when it would have been ideal to start. But, because the negative cycles between you were so bad, you couldn’t even decide on someone together, and now ‘it is crunch time’.  No pressure here, but it is important to know how divorce can affect your relationship and your future compared to effective, and by that I am referring to, Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples as one of the best, and well researched, couple therapy currently.

Nancy Michaels has written an eye-opening article entitled ‘Divorce = $1000,000 Love is Grand, but When It’s Gone, Divorce Can Cost More Than Twenty Grand’,  In this article Nancy paints the picture for the average couple regarding the average costs of divorce, depending on your situation.

In another article by Frank Ginzburg, there are other financial costs to consider when comparing divorce to couple therapy:

  • Splitting property, investments and income.
  • Retirement accounts will need to be separated, which will likely incur fees.
  • After divorce, you will probably need to obtain two separate medical benefits packages.
  • child custody and visitation, as well as babysitting, may have financial implications.
  • Legal fees can become a major factor in divorce. Legal fees can range in the tens of thousands or more.
  • Compared to extensive EFT couple therapy with a certified EFT therapist, which can cost as little as a few thousand dollars.
  • The same income you and your spouse receive now will need to support two separate households – making it unlikely that you and your spouse will be able to continue on in the level you have been accustomed to.
  • Disagreements, complicated settlements and/or complicated custody decisions can cause legal fees to be become exorbitant.
  • At times, one person, either by intention or obstinacy or even misunderstanding, can drive up the legal expenses for both partners considerably.

You do the math, because at the end of the day there is no comparison.  Besides, returning to a loving, healed relationship with your partner and creating a space for your child or children to witness parents who can work through struggles and stay connected is worth it on so many levels.