COUPLE CONFLICT

You may ask yourself “What happened?” “How did our relationship drift so far apart, it’s as if we are strangers to one another?” Or worse yet, you may have become adversaries with your backs pressed up against one another as depicted in the "Man Woman Stone" located at the left in Sedona, Arizona. It is one thing to feel alone when no one is there, but the sense of loneliness can be more extreme when someone is right behind you, and yet not emotionally available. The days of looking longingly into your partner's eyes have been replaced by frustration, resistance and loneliness. There were times in the past when you were able to reach out to one another and feel hopeful that your relationship would turn around and allow you to feel safe and connected. However, the old patterns of interacting once again take over resulting in a sense of loneliness and confusion.

As you attempt to reconnect with your significant other, you may experience silence, frustration, or more distance leaving you to feel even more isolated. It is as if it's all too much and you cannot do it all by yourself. You long for the days when you were able to share your deepest hopes and fears and open your heart in a way that you couldn’t do with anyone else. But those days seem so very distant from where you are today and even though you long for those moments now, it just doesn’t feel safe enough to take that risk. When you reflect on your relationship's history, you may wonder when and why it became so difficult to be able to lovingly face your partner in order to share your deepest needs and desires with one another?

More troubling still, the feelings of a deep connection never actually existed at all, as you keep hoping you would somehow become closer overtime, but this hasn't happened. Many couples who feel disconnected from one another may begin to feel depressed as a result of their needs not being met, or they may feel anxious about the future and where they are headed. Finally, there may have even been a very significant or painful event that occurred at some point in the relationship that was never really understood by the other, leaving the injured one to feel not only helpless, but fearful to trust again. Ultimately, you know in your heart that things cannot go on as they are. It may not seem possible but there is help and hope, and knowing where to turn can make a difference. . .

To learn more continue on, or to make an appointment please call 443-254-0686 or send and email to Carol Corcoran, LCMFT, LMFT at: chc@creatinghealthyconnections.com

© Copyright 2008 Creating Healthy Connections